a hole in the heart
by Mein Liebling
Summary: [WWll!AU, mentioned Gellert/Albus, for Gabby] Humans can't tolerate emptiness for long. War practically tore their humanity apart.


_**"War is so unjust and ugly that all who wage it must try to stifle the voice of conscience within themselves."**_

_- Leo Tolstoy_

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><p>Gellert watched with a blank face as his forces marched out of the hall and down towards the barracks to get ready. The room was deafening with the rhythmic hit of the soldiers boots, and the sound of Generals and Majors calling out orders, with the smoke of the gun and the smell of fear and determination leaking from the men. His gut stirred horribly, but he nodded to one of the sergeants to prepare for the fight, and his throat closed up as he watched the backs of his men that may as well never come back.<p>

"Colonel, are you alright?" one of the Majors asked him- Sirius Black, his mind filled in the blank. "You seemed rather out of it ever since you gave the order to march."

Gellert narrowed his blue eyes. "I am perfectly alright, Major." He bit back frostily, his arms clutching his chair as his heart beat quickly. His mind muttered, '_Why are you being so rude?'_, but he ignored it. "Go check and see how the armory is doing."

Black nodded. "Yes sir."

Gellert watched him go with his stomach sinking even lower, and his eyes beginning to become dilated from anticipation.

* * *

><p>"<em>Humans can't tolerate emptiness for long, Gellert." Albus reminded him one summer day while they were lazily picking weeds out of Mrs. Dumbledore's garden. "It fills them and they can't stand it. They go mad, they become like animals. Following their instincts… it's not a bad thing, but Gellert, promise me you won't ever become empty."<em>

_Blue eyes blinked and looked at his best friend, mouth parted slightly at the sudden change in conversation. "Albus, I promise I will never fall to the emptiness." _

_His best friend smiled, relieved. "Pinky promise?"_

"_How old are we, five?" Gellert commented, holding out his pinky despite his words. "Pinky promise." Their pinkies wrapped around each other before falling back to the ground, smearing more dirt under their nails and reminding them of the job they still had to do._

"_So, are these daisies or weeds?" He asked Albus._

* * *

><p>Albus shook his head as he was startled from his daydream, and looked down at his old friend, Elphias Doge. "Report, Lieutenant Doge?"<p>

Doge tried to smile reassuringly at his superior, but it came out in a pained grimace. "Our spies report that Grindelwald as sent the command to march to Nurmengard. Their numbers are currently unknown, General."

The redhead took in a sharp breath of air, but besides that, his face never changed. "I… see."

"Orders, sir?"

"Gather the men and send them the back way to Nurmengard. Take the shortcut we discussed. Await further orders."

"Yes sir." Doge saluted, and left the General to his thoughts. His blue eyes were dull as they glanced down at the map spread before him, and a long finger slowly pushed a pawn forward to a place on the map marked 'Nurmengard'.

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><p>"<em>Al!" Gellert yelled, storming into his house.<em>

_Albus jumped as he knocked over his Domino mountain, and stared at it in horror as it tumbled to pieces, along with it all of his hopes and dreams of ever finishing it._

"_What? Gellert, you knocked over my mountain!" Albus complained, quickly turning from his spot on the floor to glare at his best friend._

_Gellert just scowled and crossed his arms. "I did no such thing. But explain to me why half the village is calling me 'queer'? I am no such thing!"_

_The flush died from his cheeks. "W-What? Why are they saying that?"_

"_I don't know, but it's your fault regardless!"_

"_Why is it my fault?!"_

"_If you hadn't kissed me-"_

_Albus immediately sat down and schooled his face to be blank and emotionless. "I thought we said that we would never mention that again." His voice was like ice, something that Gellert rarely heard from Albus and frankly scared him a little. _

"_We never did. But someone must have heard, or saw, and the only one who knew besides me was you-"_

"_And how do we know that you didn't spill it?"_

_Gellert turned red. "I never said anything about it! How dare you accuse me!"_

"_Well, excuse me since you're the one accusing me and I haven't even thought about it since then-"_

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><p>"Colonel, the first platoon has set out."<p>

Gellert looked up from his map and nodded at Sirius. "Good. Send out the next group at around 0400 hours. Has the enemy gotten news of our decision?"

"No sir, not that I know of, sir."

"Excellent. I will go with the third platoon."

"Are you sure, Colonel? I mean-"

"I appreciate your concern, Major, but I will be perfectly fine."

Recognizing the dismissal, Sirius bowed his head and muttered an apology, before exiting the room.

Gellert exhaled softly as he stood up and put on his hat, securing it over his eyes, and slowly followed the Major out.

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><p>"<em>You… You're leaving?"<em>

_Albus bit his lip as he stared at his best friend. Gellert was stiff and stoic, his blue eyes frosty. "Yes." He said coldly._

"_B-But, Gellert, you can't go back to Germany. With the war going on it wouldn't be safe and-"_

"_I'm going to join the military."_

_The redhead looked up, startled, and a look of horror and fear passed over his face. "W-No. No you can't, Gellert, you can't-"_

"_I've sent in my form and nothing you say will stop me."_

_Tears began to form in Albus's eyes. "Goddamit, Gellert, this is not something to fight for. It's horrible, it's killing innocent people and you shouldn't go back. You could die, or be horribly wounded, and you will be seen as a traitor, Gellert, you won't live-"_

_Gellert sneered and pressed Albus back with his palm, glaring down at him to make him stop bumbling. "Nothing you say will stop me," he repeated. "And if I see you again it will be all too soon."_

_Albus sniffled and brushed off the hand, his eyes glassy but his tone like ice. "F-Fine then. I'll just have to kill you myself."_

_Gellert's eyes widened. "You didn't."_

"_Guess we're on opposite sides, eh Gellert? I don't know why I thought you would even consider my choice. You've always been such a stubborn arsehole, I have no idea why I even considered you my best friend."_

_The words stung, but the blond didn't have a reply for Albus, instead staring blankly at him._

_He never thought that Albus would join the military, it just didn't fit with him. Being a leader, yes, but leading and fighting in a war… He would make mistakes for the sake of 'love'. War wasn't love. War was harsh and cold and empty._

"_Goodbye then, Albus." He intoned, and turned on his heel. He didn't bother looking back._

* * *

><p>"General, they have arrived. Reports show that Colonel Grindelwald is with them."<p>

Albus tightened his grip on his gun, his hands sweaty as he stared at the men marching towards them with guns and trenches separating them.

"Noted." He said blankly, scanning their enemies almost hopefully to catch sight of the familiar harsh blue eyes and blond hair.

"When will we fire, sir?"

"On my mark." Albus replied shortly, eyes still moving rapidly.

Blond, blue eyes… there were so many of them, but none of them were _him._

He could hear shouts coming from the other side, yells of Russian and German and Hungarian filling the air with orders and gunpowder.

Then the crowd parted and a man walked down towards the front, and Albus's eyes narrowed and his heart beat faster.

"Fire." He muttered to Doge, who repeated it louder. Then suddenly, all around him, sounds of bullets firing and screams and shouts of pain and horror filled his mind, and he watched with hardened eyes as unfamiliar men fell because of his order.

Gellert barked orders from his side, and the fire was returned. As fire broke out all around him, as the men dived into the trenches, Albus watched unmoving as Gellert noticed him and pointed his gun at Albus, and didn't bother moving as it crackled and spitted out a bullet aimed directly at him.

His eyes were dark and empty, Albus noticed in the seconds before the bullet pierced his flesh.

It didn't fit him.

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><p><strong><em>For Gabby (teddylupin-snape). Hope you enjoyed. : )<em>**

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><p><em>For the quotes of all occasions comp.<em>

_For camp potter obstacle course week five: "Those you've pained may carry that still with them. All the same, they whisper all forgiven."- Spring Awakening, "Those You've Known". _

_For wand wood: elm._

_For divergent: emptiness can't handle humans thingy_

_I don't own Harry Potter._


End file.
